“Though the lessons of trust that I sent to you come wrapped in difficulties, the benefits far outweigh the cost.” – God (From Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

I messed up a few days ago.

I blamed my fiance for something he didn’t do. It was awful. It was almost like waking from a dream and blaming him for something he did in the dream. Can you relate?

I didn’t have a dream like that, this time, but I allowed the circumstances of my past to get in the way of my future.

Here’s an “all too common” list of things I see in women my age who are trying to date:

• We’ve been lied to.
• We’ve been cheated on.
• We’ve been played.
• We’ve been used.

Result? We have trust issues.

Can you blame us? How do you fix it?

Connect. With. God.

My late grandmother used to say “always start your day with scripture.” I didn’t really start doing that until after my baptism in November 2013. I had a routine down. I would get up in the morning, get ready for work and then sit down and open my devotional and Bible and find something that “spoke” to me.

In the last six months, I haven’t done a good job at all of being consistent with my readings, and it shows. It shows in my ability to trust God’s plans for me. It’s allowing the devil to win, making me more and more discouraged. It shows in my relationship, where thankfully, my future husband understands my past and embraces it and ensures me his is loyal. It’s making me not trust him for no good reason.

At least I recognize it now.

Not finding time to get connected to God first thing (or second) in the morning has impacted my head and my heart. It’s filling my head with ridiculous thoughts that are only the devil’s doing.

I have two houses right now. One has a teenager who is a part-time senior in high school who gets up two hours after me each day. This gives me plenty of time to connect with God. My second home has two kiddos under 10 that always need help getting ready in the morning, so unless I want to get up extra early and do my devotional, I focus on their needs and often lose focus of mine.

That’s our job as parents, but at what point is it OK to put our needs first?

As I was driving to work the other morning, I heard on song on K-LOVE and the words let me know that God was going to restore my trust in Him and my future husband:

I count on one thing
The same God that never fails
Will not fail me now
You won’t fail me now

In the waiting
The same God who’s never late
Is working all things out
You’re working all things out

Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley
Yes I will, bless Your name
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy
All my days, oh yes I will

And I choose to praise
To glorify, glorify
The Name of all names
That nothing can stand against

The song is “Yes I Will” by Vertical Worship. Last week, I was in a low valley allowing these evil thoughts to beat me. After hearing this song, I was able to refocus and set my focus back on Him. Give it a listen. It will reset your faith like it did mine.

Not only is connecting to God to crucial in our individual faith journeys, placing Him the center of the relationship I have with my future husband is CRUCIAL, and I will only set us up to succeed. I’ll be honest…it’s a little awkward at first. Our relationships with God our sacred, intimate and personal. We risk another human interfering with that connection, but again, you must trust. Easier said than done, but oh so important.

To be Blended & Blessed, it’s important to prioritize your needs so that you can be there for your family. For me, it’s reading my devotional each day and finding ways to hear God’s word through music. How do you get connected to God each day?

Beth

P.S. In case you were wondering, I apologized to my future husband for being such a spaz.