Dear Aunt Bubba,

There’s someone I love deeply from my past, but I don’t know if they will ever come back to me. He told me I needed to live my life, and I have, but things feel different now.

I know I shouldn’t put my life on hold. I know I should move forward. But a part of me keeps thinking that maybe he’ll come back, especially after I received a very cryptic text message a few weeks ago. I have no idea who it was from, and maybe they texted the wrong person, but I don’t want to move too far away in case he decides to come back. He told me he would always love me, and vice versa. What do I do?

Signed,
Hopelessly Devoted

Dear Hopelessly Devoted,

Oh, honey. I think a lot more people are standing at that window longer than they’d ever admit.

Sometimes we’re waiting for a person to come back. Sometimes we’re waiting for an apology, an explanation, a second chance, or for someone to finally choose us. And sometimes we’re waiting for a version of the future we once imagined to somehow find its way back to us.

The hardest part is that you can be moving through your life and still be waiting.

You can go to work. Make plans. Laugh with your friends. Take the trip.

And still, somewhere inside, you’re looking out the window or door hoping to see someone from your past come back.

Here’s what I want you to remember:

You don’t have to stop loving someone to stop waiting for them.

Those are two very different things.

You can love someone and still accept that you both agreed to move on.

You can miss someone and still refuse to chase them.

You can hope they find their way back to you without making your life dependent on whether they do.

And if they really want to come back? Let them come find you.

Don’t spend your days trying to decode silence, mysterious messages, social media posts, or breadcrumbs of hope. Don’t make yourself responsible for creating the opportunity for someone else to choose you.

If they come back, let them come back with clarity and ready to stand beside you, not just whisper from a distance that they still care.

And in the meantime, we want you to live your life, as hard as that may be.

Not because you’ve stopped loving them or you’ve forgotten about all the wonderful things you shared together or that you don’t care anymore.

Live because your life is happening right now.

Go somewhere you’ve never been. Say yes to something that scares you. Laugh until your stomach hurts. Let yourself meet new people without forcing yourself to fall in love. Become so busy building a life you love that you’re no longer measuring every day by whether someone else has returned to it.

Because if they do come back, I want them to find you living, not waiting.

And if they don’t, I want you to look back someday and realize that while you were hoping for someone to walk through the door, you never stopped walking forward yourself.

So, Still Waiting…

Love them if you love them.

Hope if you need to hope.

Leave a little room in your heart for the possibility that life might surprise you.

But don’t stand at the window forever.

Love. Give. Live.